Field of lavender

It’s easy to think you are not impacting the people who are important to you. But if you are thinking that thought, you’re wrong. With every interaction, you are either dropping a quarter into the “piggy bank” of your relationship, or you’re pulling one out. Sometimes, in the bigger moments, you might even be pulling out a handful of quarters all at once… or, if you’re really on your game…dropping in a whole handful. You choose.

We assume our mood has a lot to do with how we show up. We think everyone has bad moments. Even bad days. Times when we just don’t show up the way we wish we would. And we go with the thought that our emotions are in control…that we can’t help it. We might even say to ourselves, “It is what it is, yes?”

But here’s the truth: Our thoughts are actually in the driver’s seat. No matter what kind of a mood you are in, you can shift it…and when you’re around the people you love the most, how you show up matters. A lot.

Where do you want to make a difference? Whose heart do you want to touch? What situation do you want to impact? What memory do you want your special someone to recall long after this day is gone?

It’s not the big moments that shape our relationships. It’s the culmination of countless little moments. It’s a glance…stink eye or twinkle in your eye? It’s a tone…outside voice even in the house or calm inside voice, no matter what the topic? It might be a laugh or a smile. A hug. A listening ear, with nothing but patience and not an ounce of judgment. You decide.

No matter where your relationship is, you can make it better. Livable, but boring or back to vibrancy and health? Yep. You can do it. Good to great? Totally possible. Crappy and ready for a dissolution? Even when it gets this bad, your relationship can come back from the brink.

And it all starts with a thought. Pay attention. Be the fly on the wall as you watch yourself interact. No self-judging either, just observe. You make a difference. The difference. Show up.